...briefly mentioned during the seminar that she "taught healing". (Hah?)
As soon as I had a chance during the break I followed up on it and, it turned out she is a facilitator for a "non-violent communication" non-profit organization...
How interesting! I thought...
And what is it about? I asked - not understanding the full meaning of it. She explained briefly. We exchanged cards and went about our business.
I visited the organization's website and found that it was very close to my beliefs and wouldn't you know it...I found something I was looking for for a number of months...
Definitely one more of those confirmations that there are no accidents in life.
I am enclosing the list because those of us that have attended any self-esteem, personal development, self-empowerment, assertiveness seminar or workshop have (most likely) run into the "list of feelings" that has been handed out (from generation to generation?) in most of them.
Time to chuck it!
I realized last winter when I began including it in my workshop, how limited and negative the "list of feelings" was. I felt compelled to bring this to everyone's attention (since no one has done that for me in the past and) given the positive focus of my material I handed them out encouraging everyone to think of positive words to include in it for the next session...
I was surprised (and saddened) of how little we all contributed in that regard. Given the pathetic results, even with the "sharing" of another "positive" feelings list, I had my mind set to have a more comprehensive and supportive - empowering onw..... I had to do/offer better than that!
Come the "mischief angels" (as usual) unexpectedly granting me the wish/gift, plus another one of connecting with like-minded people...
Here is the best of individual as well as universal "needs" list thus far...
The following list of needs is neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to support anyone who wishes to engage in a process of deepening self-discovery and to facilitate greater understanding and connection between people.
Connection: acceptance, affection, appreciation, belonging, cooperation, communication, closeness, community, companionship, compassion, considerationconsistency, empathy, inclusion, intimacy, love, mutuality, nurturing, safety,
respect/self-respect, security, stability, support, to know and be known, to see and be seen, to understand and be understood, trust, warmth.
Honesty: authenticity, integrity, presence
Play, joy, humor
Peace: beauty, communion, ease, equality, harmony, inspiration, order
Physical Well Being: air, food, movement/exercise, rest/sleep, sexual expression,safety, shelter, touch, water
Meaning: awareness, celebration of life, challenge, clarity, competence, consciousness, contribution, creativity, discovery, efficacy, effectiveness, growth, hope,learning, mourning, participation, purpose, self-expression, stimulation, to matter, understanding
Autonomy: choice, freedom, independence, space, spontaneity
Feelings when your needs are satisfied
Affectionate: compassionate, friendly, loving, open hearted, sympathetic, tender, warmConfident: empowered, open, proud, safe, secure,
Engaged: absorbed, alert, curious, engrossed, enchanted, entranced, fascinated, interested, intrigued, involved, spellbound, stimulated
Inspired: amazed, awed, wonder
Exited: amazed, animated, ardent, aroused, astonished, dazzled, eager, energetic, enthusiastic, giddy, invigorated, lively, passionate, surprised, vibrant
Exhilarated: blissful, ecstatic, elated, enthralled, exuberant, radiant, rapturous, thrilled
Grateful: appreciative, moved, thankful, touched
Hopeful: expectant, encouraged, optimistic,
Joyful: amused, delighted, glad, happy, jubilant, pleased, tickled
Peaceful: calm, clear headed, comfortable, centered, content, equanimous, fulfilled, mellow, quiet, relaxed, relieved, satisfied, serene, still, tranquil, trusting
Refreshed: enlivened, rejuvenated, renewed, rested, restored, revived
Feelings when your needs are not satisfied
Afraid: apprehensive, dread, foreboding, frightened, mistrustful, panicked, petrifiedscared, suspicious, terrified, wary, worried
Annoyed: aggravated, dismayed, disgruntled, displeased, exasperated, frustrated, impatient, irritated, irked Angry: enraged, furious, incensed, indignant, irate, livid, outraged, resentful,
Aversion: animosity, appalled, contempt, disgusted, dislike, hate, horrified, hostile,repulsed
Disconnected: alienated, aloof, apathetic, bored, cold, detached, distant, distractedindifferent, numb, removed, uninterested, withdrawn
Disquiet: agitated, alarmed, discombobulated, disconcerted, disturbed, perturbed, rattled, restless, shocked, startled, surprised, troubled, turbulent, turmoil, uncomfortableuneasy, unnerved, unsettled, upset
Embarrased: ashamed, chagrined, flustered, guilty, mortified, self-conscious
Pain: Agony, anguished, bereaved, devastated, grief, heartbroken, hurt, lonely, miserable, regretful, remorseful
SAD: depressed, dejected, despair, despondent, disappointed, discouraged, disheartened, forlorn, gloomy, heavy hearted, hopeless, melancholy, unhappy,wretched
TENSE: anxious, cranky, distressed, distraught, edgy, fidgety, frazzled, irritable, jittery,nervous, overwhelmed, restless, stressed out
CONFUSED: ambivalent, baffled, bewildered, dazed, hesitant, lost, mystified, perplexed,puzzled, torn
FATIGUE: beat, burnt out, depleted, exhausted, lethargic, listless, sleepy, tired, weary,worn out
VULNERABLE : fragile, guarded, helpless, insecure, leery, reserved, sensitive, shaky
YEARNING: envious, jealous, longing, nostalgic, pining, wistful
(c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication
Much Love to All!