"Her and Her Episodes" Acrylic on paper... All content copyright! 2005 - 2017 and so on, and on, and on....

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Needs and The Woman Sitting to my Left...

...briefly mentioned during the seminar that she "taught healing". (Hah?)
As soon as I had a chance during the break I followed up on it and, it turned out she is a facilitator for a "non-violent communication" non-profit organization...
How interesting! I thought...
And what is it about? I asked - not understanding the full meaning of it. She explained briefly. We exchanged cards and went about our business.
I visited the organization's website and found that it was very close to my beliefs and wouldn't you know it...I found something I was looking for for a number of months...
Definitely one more of those confirmations that there are no accidents in life.

I am enclosing the list because those of us that have attended any self-esteem, personal development, self-empowerment, assertiveness seminar or workshop have (most likely) run into the "list of feelings" that has been handed out (from generation to generation?) in most of them.
Time to chuck it!
I realized last winter when I began including it in my workshop, how limited and negative the "list of feelings" was. I felt compelled to bring this to everyone's attention (since no one has done that for me in the past and) given the positive focus of my material I handed them out encouraging everyone to think of positive words to include in it for the next session...
I was surprised (and saddened) of how little we all contributed in that regard. Given the pathetic results, even with the "sharing" of another "positive" feelings list, I had my mind set to have a more comprehensive and supportive - empowering onw..... I had to do/offer better than that!
Come the "mischief angels" (as usual) unexpectedly granting me the wish/gift, plus another one of connecting with like-minded people...
Here is the best of individual as well as universal "needs" list thus far...

Needs inventory
The following list of needs is neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to support anyone who wishes to engage in a process of deepening self-discovery and to facilitate greater understanding and connection between people.

Connection: acceptance, affection, appreciation, belonging, cooperation, communication, closeness, community, companionship, compassion, considerationconsistency, empathy, inclusion, intimacy, love, mutuality, nurturing, safety,
respect/self-respect, security, stability, support, to know and be known, to see and be seen, to understand and be understood, trust, warmth.
Honesty: authenticity, integrity, presence
Play, joy, humor
Peace: beauty, communion, ease, equality, harmony, inspiration, order
Physical Well Being: air, food, movement/exercise, rest/sleep, sexual expression,safety, shelter, touch, water
Meaning: awareness, celebration of life, challenge, clarity, competence, consciousness, contribution, creativity, discovery, efficacy, effectiveness, growth, hope,learning, mourning, participation, purpose, self-expression, stimulation, to matter, understanding
Autonomy: choice, freedom, independence, space, spontaneity

Feelings when your needs are satisfied

compassionate, friendly, loving, open hearted, sympathetic, tender, warmConfident: empowered, open, proud, safe, secure,
Engaged: absorbed, alert, curious, engrossed, enchanted, entranced, fascinated, interested, intrigued, involved, spellbound, stimulated
Inspired: amazed, awed, wonder
Exited: amazed, animated, ardent, aroused, astonished, dazzled, eager, energetic, enthusiastic, giddy, invigorated, lively, passionate, surprised, vibrant
Exhilarated: blissful, ecstatic, elated, enthralled, exuberant, radiant, rapturous, thrilled
Grateful: appreciative, moved, thankful, touched
Hopeful: expectant, encouraged, optimistic,
Joyful: amused, delighted, glad, happy, jubilant, pleased, tickled
Peaceful: calm, clear headed, comfortable, centered, content, equanimous, fulfilled, mellow, quiet, relaxed, relieved, satisfied, serene, still, tranquil, trusting
Refreshed: enlivened, rejuvenated, renewed, rested, restored, revived

Feelings when your needs are not satisfied

Afraid: apprehensive, dread, foreboding, frightened, mistrustful, panicked, petrifiedscared, suspicious, terrified, wary, worried
Annoyed: aggravated, dismayed, disgruntled, displeased, exasperated, frustrated, impatient, irritated, irked Angry: enraged, furious, incensed, indignant, irate, livid, outraged, resentful,
Aversion: animosity, appalled, contempt, disgusted, dislike, hate, horrified, hostile,repulsed
Disconnected: alienated, aloof, apathetic, bored, cold, detached, distant, distractedindifferent, numb, removed, uninterested, withdrawn
Disquiet: agitated, alarmed, discombobulated, disconcerted, disturbed, perturbed, rattled, restless, shocked, startled, surprised, troubled, turbulent, turmoil, uncomfortableuneasy, unnerved, unsettled, upset
Embarrased: ashamed, chagrined, flustered, guilty, mortified, self-conscious
Pain: Agony, anguished, bereaved, devastated, grief, heartbroken, hurt, lonely, miserable, regretful, remorseful
SAD: depressed, dejected, despair, despondent, disappointed, discouraged, disheartened, forlorn, gloomy, heavy hearted, hopeless, melancholy, unhappy,wretched
TENSE: anxious, cranky, distressed, distraught, edgy, fidgety, frazzled, irritable, jittery,nervous, overwhelmed, restless, stressed out
CONFUSED: ambivalent, baffled, bewildered, dazed, hesitant, lost, mystified, perplexed,puzzled, torn
FATIGUE: beat, burnt out, depleted, exhausted, lethargic, listless, sleepy, tired, weary,worn out
VULNERABLE : fragile, guarded, helpless, insecure, leery, reserved, sensitive, shaky
YEARNING: envious, jealous, longing, nostalgic, pining, wistful

(c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication
Website: www.cnvc.org
Phone: +1.818.957.9393

Much Love to All!

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